The Good, The Bad, The Ugly!

Hello out there in Blogger Land!  I've been so miserable I forgot the purpose of my blog.  I started this thing so I could journal my "progress"and  reflect back on all my milestones.

So let's get ya'll up to speed shall we...


The Good
I've lost 40lbs
I've been advanced to Stage 3-mushy foods
I can finish a shower without passing out
My breath doesn't smell like donkey butt
The support from friends and family

The Bad
I'm still having swelling/swallowing issues
Going back to work next week
Feeling like I had a death in the family (food)
All the pills/vitamins


The Ugly
My thighs

I under estimated how hard this journey would be.  Even though things are improving I still regret my decision.  That feeling is slowly going away now that my good days are out-numbering the bad.  Hopefully once I develop a routine and better learn my limitations the feeling will disappear completely.

If anybody still remembers me I would love to hear how you started back.  Thinking about dusting myself off and returning to work makes me nauseous.  I have a fear that I will eat something and be hanging over the toilet in my office with my boss holding my hair back. 

As you see any tips will be helpful

Barely Surviving The First Week

*Disclaimer-This is going to be short and sweet but I wanted to get a post in...and please excuse anything that sounds odd I'm still fairly fuzzy

So I had my RNY Gastric Bypass on Monday, August 23rd.  Things went well considering all the could have gone wrong.

Monday - S-U-C-K-E-D!  I came out of surgery well but the good drugs were a bit to good for me.  I couldn't handle them so they switched me over to morphine that evening. 

Tuesday - Still sucked but I was able to remember to whom I spoke with

Wednesday - I thought this was going to be my day to shine..WRONG!  I couldn't swallow and was still very swollen from the surgery and hernia repair.  I freaked out a few times and they finally told me to stop trying and wait until tomorrow

Thursday - I was advanced to Stage 2 in the morning and was discharged late morning. 

Since being home I've been trying to work Stage 2 but I'm just DONE!  I can't tolerate another shake and I'm grumpy and funky.  I've been getting in all the water I can, and I just started take my vitamins as recommend.  I put in a call to the nutritionist to find out if there is a creative way to get in my protein.  I am walking as much as possible but that is no easy task either.  I really hope things turn the corner for me soon cause at this very moment I regret this decision. 

Every now and again my hubby takes a peek at my blog so I just want him and the world to know...

I Love You So Much!  Getting this far would have never ever been possible with out you.  My husband and my kids have been there with me through every pain and whine and I love them for that

THANK YOU!!

Beautiful

Don't look at me

Every day is so wonderful
And suddenly, i saw debris
Now and then, I get insecure
From all the pain, I'm so ashamed

I am beautiful no matter what they say
Words can't bring me down
I am beautiful in every single way
Yes, words can't bring me down
So don't you bring me down today

To all your friends, you're delirious
So consumed in all your doom
Trying hard to fill the emptiness
The piece is gone left the puzzle undone
That's the way it is

You are beautiful no matter what they say
Words can't bring you down
You are beautiful in every single way
Yes, words can't bring you down
Don't you bring me down today...

No matter what we do
(no matter what we do)
No matter what they say
(no matter what they say)
When the sun is shining through
Then the clouds won't stay


And everywhere we go
(everywhere we go)
The sun won't always shine
(sun won't always shine)
But tomorrow will find a way
All the other times

'cause we are beautiful no matter what they say
Yes, words won't bring us down, oh no
We are beautiful in every single way
Yes, words can't bring us down
Don't you bring me down today

Don't you bring me down today
Don't you bring me down today

Versatile Blogger Award!

So I'm always a day late and a dollar short...SORRY!

I was awarded the The Versatile Blogger Award by Shea last week, and I am just getting around to the rules of the award.

1. Thank the person giving you the award - check!
2. Share 7 things about yourself
3. Nominate 15 newly discovered blogs.
4. Let your nominees know about the award.

7 Things you may not know...(be afraid)

1. I LOVE all things reality and my DVR is my best friend.  Part of my surgery prep has been making sure my DVR is updated.  I've been deleting and recording all types of things for me to watch while I'm home recovering.  I ONLY admit this as the first step in getting help for my TVRA (TV Reality Addiction)
2. I secretly think I'm Beyonce and I can prove it.  We both have the same signature move of whipping our hair around in public (see video-I'm the one in the yellow sprinting across the yard).  I planned to name my band Beyonce but we all know what happened there.  Needless to say I should limit myself to ONE glass of wine when in public, and my husband is armed with a video camera.
3. I was raised Jewish and a strict vegetarian. Not sure if you know this or not but I'm black and that was a little odd at the time. They treated me like their own and I will always love them for that
4. I really want to be a wedding planner.  I love to organize and see all the little details come together. The problem is I have zero taste or any eye for anything unique and/or special.  In addition I'm the type who will be late for her own funeral.
5. I AM THE NOSIEST PERSON ON THE PLANT.  I sleep with my police scanner...again I admit these things because that is the first step in realizing you have a problem.
6. I have SERIOUS boob envy.  I've always been on the smaller side and I constantly size up women wishing I had their bust size.  I would take a boob job over a tummy tuck any day of the week.
7. Even though I suck at it I LOVE blogging.  My grammar is horrible and I never have anything insightful to say but it's so therapeutic.  People who don't know me and will never meet me in person take a few minutes to read my crazy thoughts floating in my head.  I will always be grateful and appreciative of that.  This experience has been a roller coaster to say the least, but people have remained my friend and keep coming back to support me post after post.  You will never understand how much that means to me.  Thank You!

Nomination of a Few Good Bloggers!
Kristen-I'm with the band - She inspired me to start my own blog and she is a fellow Bostonian
Wanda-The Evolution of Wandanomics - My Sister from another Mother
Gilly-something something something Fat Chick -she is hilarious and I enjoy reading her blog
Kristen-*Kristen's Lapband Journey* - something about that southern charm keeps me checking her progress..and she is gorgeous to boot
Amanda-Amanda's Waning - I relate to her more than she knows.  She is a beautiful person.
Grace-Grace's Fat Chance - She has a special place in my heart.  She reminds me of someone I know and love dearly..my daughter
Drazil-It's just Me, Drazil & Sheniqua - we all know she needs no explanation
Brittanie-Yup... I Said it. - A tiny peek into the youthful mind of the future.  I've loved this young women since the day she was born.  Even through our ups and downs of onesies and pepsi fights.  She has been a solid influence in my daughter's life and I love her for that
Athena-Athena's Melting - she is a beautiful writer and her selection of pictures is worth a drive by of her blog
Stephanie-Dreams of Skinny High Heals - on the outside she looks like this cute soccer mom and then you read on and she has the BEST potty mouth..LOVE IT
LDswims-A Journey to Embrace - always there with an encouraging comment..thank you
Debi-Hawaii Bound Bandster - gave me my very first shout out and Happy Birthday to YOU!
ALL of the my followers!  Thankfully I haven't lost one due to my craziness and I love each and every one of them

P.S.  I'm on Day 9 of my pre-op diet and it still sucks.  It doesn't suck as bad as Day 1, but it's no day at the beach.  I've lost 9 pounds so far and I'm more emotionally hungry than anything.  I've slipped a few times in terms of eating more meat than allowed but I've haven't strayed completely.  I've just been trying to lay low until Monday rolls around and I can get this this whole thing over with.  I'm getting on my own nerves so I can imagine how annoyed the people around me are.

Day 3: This is not getting any easier

I AM HUNGRY! I AM HUNGRY! I AM HUNGRY I AM HUNGRY!

I'm trying to stay positive and remember this is MY CHOICE.  I know I'm not supposed to feel like I just ate Thanksgiving dinner, but I'm SO HUNGRY.  I'm drinking my shakes and getting in TONS and TONS of water.  I'm devouring my two servings of fruit and woofing down my one meal per day.  NOTHING IS TAKING AWAY THE HUNGRY HORRORS.

I've been told that it will begin to get better around Day 3.  It really doesn't seem that way at the moment.  Now I have a nasty little headache on top of my stomach growling and being REALLY dizzy.  I'm heading to a support group meeting tonight.  I plan to ask what I can add just to get me over the hump.

On a more positive and less whiny note I've received my very first award.  I wish that I wasn't so grumpy so I could really enjoy it.

Thank you Shea of Sugar Snap and ME! for this beautiful (and timely) mention.  I really appreciate it.  I going to get started on paying it forward tonight after my one meal.  That way I have a clear head and won't babble.

Day 2-Had some time on my hands

Hoping this speaks for itself...

and away we go...Day One

Today starts my 14 day liquid diet.  I'm trying to keep a positive head about the whole thing but I'm terrified that I am going to stave to death.  I have several projects lined up to keep me busy, but as of right now all I want to do is nap.  I'm almost grateful they make you do this.  It's a good prep before your actual surgery.  I will have plenty of time to work on my head hunger.  I'm also doing medication and that seems to help calm me down when I go off the deep end.


I will be posting often during this phase as I will need someone to vent to.  I will also be posting my "before" stats and pictures at some point this week.  Hubby is doing my pictures and measurements tonight.  Then I will need to crop them so I don't scare anybody for life

I also want to say Thank You again to my blog friends.  You guys have been really supportive throughout this crazy ride and it's much appreciated.

Stay tuned the fun is just beginning!