Thursday, August 23, 2012

Even if you don’t recognize me, I’m here!

OMG I didn’t recognize you!  That phase is repeated to me at least once per day.  Depending on the person I am sometimes flattered and other times annoyed.  I fully embrace the fact that over the past two years I have changed in so many different ways. With that being said I am still very much the same person.  Or should I say this is the real me.  This is the person I lost so many years ago

So let’s get you up to speed:

Gastric Bypass Surgery:  August, 23, 2010
Starting Weight:  256
Weight as of 8/23/12:  152
Post surgical complications:  ulcer, GERD

Two years down and holding firm….literally.  I am still amazed at how much things have changed from two years ago.  The only thing that remains the same is the scale.  I love that my body picks a number and sticks with it!

Over the past year I have been able to increase my food intake (not necessarily a good thing) and my diet has more variety.  The good part of that is I usually don’t go past 154 on the scale.  I will be honest and say that I don’t do any formal exercising, BUT I do lead a more active lifestyle.  I haven’t run any road races, but I am getting up and off the couch more than ever….and for me that is a huge change.

I still have regular stomach aches which sometime turn into hospital visits.  I am on a variety of acid reducers to prevent that, but sometimes the pain is just too severe.  There are a few other complications but will spare you the details.  Let’s just say things don’t move as they used too…

The dust has settled and I am finally comfortable in my own skin.  I have slowly begun to make some long overdue changes in my life.   They haven't all been easy, but they were very necessary.  I can honestly say I have "Lost My Waist and Regained My Mind"

I would like to leave you with lyrics from one of my favorite R&B artist’s Jill Scott. I play this song every single day.  It’s to remind myself that “You is kind. You is smart. You is important” ~ The Help

Jill Scott “Still Here”

I am a boisterous river
I am a mountains story
I am a quiet feeling
I am a fragrant flower
I am a moonlit evening
I am a peaceful night
I am a writers thinking
I am a wealth unfathomed
And if you don’t recognize my presence, I am here
And if you don’t recognize me, I am here

I am a source of power
I am excited journey
I am the rock of patience
I am a whisper singing
I am unbridled freedom
I am the thought from thinking
I am a love unshattered
I am the great orgasm

And if you don’t recognize my presence, I am here
And if you don’t recognize my presence, I am here

And even if you don’t recognize me, I‘m still here
And even if you don’t recognize me

And even if you don’t recognize me, I‘m still here
And even if you don’t recognize me, I am, oh, I’m still here

Even if you don’t recognize me, I’m here, I’m here, I’m here

Thank you for listening

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Happy Surgiversary to ME!

Happy Birthday to My Waist
Happy Birthday to My Attitude
Happy Birthday to My Stomach
Happy Birthday to My Knees

Happy Birthday to ME

If you know me you know I’m not one to celebrate any holidays…especially my birthday.  This particular year I’m going to make an exception.  This year so many changes have occurred I feel the need to acknowledge all that has happened. 

One year ago today I had Gastric Bypass Surgery.  Looking back over the past year I couldn't have imagined just how much my life has changed. 

Let’s recap shall we…

Just the facts:

August, 23rd 2010
Current Weight – 251
Current Size – 22-24

August 23, 2011
Current Weight – 148
Current Size – 8

Just the Physical:

Obviously I knew by having gastric bypass I would lose weight.  I NEVER thought I would look or feel the way I do.  Walking into a store and being able to browse through ALL the racks is mind blowing.  I’m wearing things that I actually want to be seen in.
I remember coming to work and not wanting to get breakfast in the café because I was embarrassed of my outfit.

Just the Mental:

The self esteem I've gained from this can’t really be translated into words.  Making the decision to have Gastric Bypass was the first step to getting my mental state back in order.  Little did I know that having this surgery would bring so many of my dark hidden secrets into the light.  Dealing with “some” of my baggage has really made for a difficult year but I wouldn't change a thing.  I am truly a changed person on the inside as well as the outside.

Just the Present

I still have stomach aches for varies reasons (over eating, gas pains, eating the wrong foods, etc.).  My skin is tone is incredible.  My hair is holding tight. My energy level is great. My boobs are HORRIBLE!!!.  My stomach and thighs are in much better shape than I could have every hoped.

I am still reminded daily of the changes I decided to make to my body.  I still can't eat what I want when I want, but I am at the point where I would make the same choice over again.

This was the best decision for me

Just the Thanks!

Without the grace and mercy of God none of what I've been through would have been possible.  I'm truly thankful for the good and the bad.  He continues to pull me through each and every time.

Thank you to my husband and my children for standing by me 100%.
They have been right there with me through this whole process and I couldn't have done it without them

Thank you to all my extended family and friends who have been so supportive

Thank you to my blog followers who have stuck with me and still drop by and say hello

Please take a moment and visit my photo album from May 2010 through August 2011.  Enjoy! 
My First Year Rewind!!! 

Monday, January 31, 2011

Before meet After

As promised a long long long time ago I'm here to post a before and after shot of the new size 14/12 me!  This has been the most difficult journey, but after seeing this picture it takes the sting out of all the stuff I've been going through.

Before you get to the picture let me do a bit of housekeeping and bring you up to speed.
  • My current weight is 184
  • I'm wearing a size 14 bottom and a large top
  • I was hospitalized in December with a Bezoar.  They removed it but the pain still continues to persist.  Lucky Me!  They initially called it a "hairball", but once I explained that I've NEVER EVER eaten hair they decided to change their tune.
  • I continue to struggle with things getting stuck.  They've gone done with the scope twice so the opening should be huge by now.  As I get further out things are getting slightly better or maybe I'm just dealing with it better.  Who knows...
  • I still have hair on my head!  I was VERY worried that once my hair came out of the braids I would be bald.  I take my multi-vitamin and Biotin daily to help the with Sinead O'Connor look
  • I've signed up for the gym but haven't been going.  Once I get my transportation in order that will be my first order of business.  Things are swinging and swaying so it's time to get moving
Well without further a due...
May 2010, Size 20

December 2010, Size XL                                                
January 2011, Size 12

My new goal now is working on becoming comfortable in my new skin.  I haven't cleaned out my closet yet in fear that I will need my "fat" clothes.  Gastric Bypass is 80% mental and 20% physical if you ask me...

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Before and After Time


Here is a quick before and after face shot.  I keep getting so many comments about my face thought I would post a side by side and see what all the fuss is about.  Even though I got some weird googly eye thing going on I can see a difference.

The good news is I just bought a camera and I'm not afraid to use it!  So keep a googly eye out for some body shots...COMING SOON!


*side note~wish I could control where the weight comes from.  I'm afraid that I will get that gaunt skeleton look

Monday, November 29, 2010

Knock Knock! Who's There?

It's me ONEderland!

I "officially" hit Onederland today.  I actually hit last week but wanted to get through Thanksgiving to be sure it stuck.  I'm must admit this is an exciting day for me.  I haven't had to many "ups" through this process so I'm going to take this one and rejoice in it. 

Have a Great Week!

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Everything is wrong

I'm really having a tough day and need to vent. 

Just when I think everything is under control the clouds part and the bolt of lightning hits me.  NOTHING is going right these days....fighting with hubby, kids are out of control, bills aren't paid, work is a nightmare.
I need a vacation from my life. 

I'm really doing my best to hold it together, but I'm quickly spiraling out of control.  Then of course there is this major life change I got going on with my body.  Things have been better in terms of my Gastric Bypass, but knowing that I will have to keep this lifestyle up for the rest of my life is a daunting task. 

I'm waiting for that little birdie to whisper "everything is going to be ok".  He hasn't come yet so all I have is this blog

Well onward and upward...

Friday, October 22, 2010


So I've realized a few things, and I would love to share them with the world.  Hopefully this will help another RNYer so they don't end up with Angry Pouch.

  • Your old life is gone
    • no matter what you heard, no matter what you read it's gone, and you best get with the program ASAP
  •  You need a plan
    • you can't wing it
    • you can't just grab something
    • spend some time on you and get a plan...QUICKLY
  • Sip It!
    • go ahead and think your Big Gulp Willy if you want to.  Get your fluids in, but remember to take it one sip at a time
  • Chew it good! (insert Devo - Whip It music)
    • unless you like to see your food again and again and again and again
  • Nobody is going to steal it
    • take your time and enjoy your five bites
  • Get off your ASS!
    • refer back to bullet #1...Ms. Couch Potato has left the building, and should be walking around the block by now
I'm really putting this is writing for my benefit as a new post-op.  I often read my blog and seeing this in purple in white will hopefully motivate me.  The scale hasn't moved in weeks, and I'm ready to get on with the show already.

Have a fab weekend and see you on Monday with my brand spanking new plan!!